Saturday, January 3, 2009

WalMart - The Trickster's Gateway to Hell


I came to a profound conclusion a short time ago. All WalMarts (especially the super ones) are actually connected. There are many portals in a host of communities, and each portal has a different perspectival aspect, but it is really all the same store somehow linked through a temporal/spatial wormhole of some sort.... there really is only one WalMart. The more I thought about it, the more I realized this is actually some secret level of Hell, which - when you move therein - sucks upon your life force, evaporating time, money, energy..... I think there may be a black hole connected to the wormhole. It's all very indistinct....

Then I imagined trickster looking for his wife/girlfriend here, as he is called upon to do in many trickster tales. He cannot find her in the women's intimates, but is dazzled by the simultaneous horror of their crassness and appeal. He seeks her through aisle upon aisle of packaged food and kitsch paraphernalia, as a manager passes by, asking a subordinate, "Were you not listening during my meeting?" He passes two large women who are lazily pushing their wobbling carts as one says to the other, "If you can't find it at WalMart, you just don't need it." He finds her in the movie section, but has a hard time dragging her away from the flatscreens, and just before he makes it to the door, he can't help looking over his shoulder at the big display of beef jerky options. Arg!

Yes, WalMart is the post-modern hell of endless mediocrity and optimally abased consumerism. So why, I keep asking myself, do I end up spending so much time there.....?

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